So... lately...I have been learning to give it all up to God.
Let's just say, this is one of the hardest things I have ever done.
I have had a few things that have happened late as an effected or a 'side effect' from my wreck, none of which have been good. I will now have to drop an online class I was taking, due to being hurt, on meds, ect-- I had not been able to work on the class and my teacher had no understanding for my situation and won’t allow me to make up the missed work, therefore I cannot complete enough work in order to pass the course... meaning I have to drop or get an F. The issue is.... I have to have this class to student teach this Fall. Talk about stress... So after FREAKING OUT that I may not get to student teach this Fall and crying and basically loosing it. I talked to Allison Lilly and she calmed me down, and talked some sense into me and I then realized that "So what, if I don't get to student teach in the Fall"... Maybe that's not what God has planned for me and my life.
So, I had to swallow a HUGE lump in my throat to understand this one.
I don't want to not student teach this fall, I don't want to wait a year, I want to graduate in 2011, I want to be done with school. Then I had to realize that it's not what I want.... it's what GOD wants for me. I know that this may sound childish, but I have always thought that I was allowing God to have His will in my life and that I was following what He wanted.... but then I realized, that I am...but only to a degree-- and that's the problem.
I have learned, I been I have been learning and am continuing to learn that I have to throw what I want out the window and let God have control and do what He has planned for me.
So with all that said, I am now trying 'my darndest' to let go and let God have His will in my life!
*Please pray for me as I continue down this uncertain path,
even though it's uncertain for me....it's not for Him!*
Sarah my friend...I am so proud of you and your heart for God and his plan for your life. It's not easy giving up control and living in what seems to be uncertainty.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good verse for you because it speaks of God keeping track of our faith in him.
Romans 4:20-24
20Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. 22This is why "it was credited to him as righteousness." 23The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone, 24but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.