So... lately...I have been learning to give it all up to God.
Let's just say, this is one of the hardest things I have ever done.
I have had a few things that have happened late as an effected or a 'side effect' from my wreck, none of which have been good. I will now have to drop an online class I was taking, due to being hurt, on meds, ect-- I had not been able to work on the class and my teacher had no understanding for my situation and won’t allow me to make up the missed work, therefore I cannot complete enough work in order to pass the course... meaning I have to drop or get an F. The issue is.... I have to have this class to student teach this Fall. Talk about stress... So after FREAKING OUT that I may not get to student teach this Fall and crying and basically loosing it. I talked to Allison Lilly and she calmed me down, and talked some sense into me and I then realized that "So what, if I don't get to student teach in the Fall"... Maybe that's not what God has planned for me and my life.
So, I had to swallow a HUGE lump in my throat to understand this one.
I don't want to not student teach this fall, I don't want to wait a year, I want to graduate in 2011, I want to be done with school. Then I had to realize that it's not what I want.... it's what GOD wants for me. I know that this may sound childish, but I have always thought that I was allowing God to have His will in my life and that I was following what He wanted.... but then I realized, that I am...but only to a degree-- and that's the problem.
I have learned, I been I have been learning and am continuing to learn that I have to throw what I want out the window and let God have control and do what He has planned for me.
So with all that said, I am now trying 'my darndest' to let go and let God have His will in my life!
*Please pray for me as I continue down this uncertain path,
even though it's uncertain for me....it's not for Him!*
